Do you ladies remember how exciting it was the few months after having your baby? Everyone was gushing over them and wanted to see them and the texts, calls, and Facetime chats seemed nonstop. It was such an exciting time. But, although it was exciting, it was also overwhelming, am I right?! It can be easy for YOU to get lost in the shuffle of having a new baby. Family and loved ones tend to forget about you.. Heck YOU aren’t even focusing on you. I can recall days when no one except my mom asked me how I was doing. As much as I loved all of the attention the baby was getting, I could not help but feel like things had drastically changed within my life in terms of the relationships i had with friends and loved ones. At times, I even found myself wanting to return to how it was before I was a mama! So, I thought I’d write about a few tips I’ve learned along the way about Friendship and Mamahood.
First things first, I have to preface this post by saying MY FRIENDS ARE AMAZING!! They’ve been wonderfully supportive and thoughtful throughout my life and especially during my pregnancy. But, friendships can get just a little tricky when one becomes a parent. Now, you may be reading this post and thinking “Girl, I know EXACTLY what you mean”… Or, maybe you aren’t a mama and are looking for ways to reconnect with a mama friend! No matter which camp you’re in, this post is for YOU!
Ways to Stay Connected to Friends after Becoming a Mama
- DO things that you would normally DO with your friends. This one may seem obvious, but trust me, your friends may NOT ask you to hang out. WHY? They assume you’re busy doing “mom stuff”! While that may be true it’s still nice to do things you all normally did OR to even try NEW things with them! Plus, it goes a long way with maintaining that connection! Friendship doesn’t have to stop just because you became a MAMA!
- POST about a variety of things on social media, NOT JUST YOUR BABY! Let’s be honest, your selfie won’t get as many likes as one of your sleeping little pumpkin, but, unless you want people to forget what you look like, it’s a good idea to include yourself in a few photos. AND it showcases that you’re still that same person you were before…you just have a little sidekick with you that you didn’t have before!! 🙂
- REACH OUT to people! Don’t just wait for them to call or text you! Plus it’ll feel good to catch up and hear about what’s going on in their lives.
Remember, EVERYONE is adjusting to the new baby in your family and in all of the excitement, it’s easy to forget about the parents. For instance, say you’re having company over and you’re so excited to finally have an adult conversation! However, when you guys are hanging out, everything is about the baby! You’d rather talk about other things than retelling your birthing story or talking about how well their sleeping or how much you’re NOT! It’s not rude or impolite to redirect the conversation to something you want to talk about. You aren’t a bad person for wanting to discuss a variety of things outside of the baby so don’t feel bad for bringing up other things!
I’m Not A Mama But I want to stay connected
to my Mama friends…
Okay…. so if you’re like many of my friends, then you haven’t had any kids yet. You may be feeling awkward or like you aren’t qualified to be close friends with your new mama friend now… DON’T THINK LIKE THAT! She needs YOU and maybe even more now than she has before. Although her availability is not what it used to be, try not to take it personally. Know that that same amazing, wonderful, and fun friend she was before is still the same girl she is now. Forgive her if she is a little cranky at times (sleep deprivation, busy schedules, and other parental duties has a tendency to take its toll). TRUST me, she appreciates you reaching out to her and checking to see how SHE is doing. Here are a few tips for friends of mama’s:
- TALK with her! She still cares about the same things she did before she had a baby. If your conversations were about fashion, or shopping or music or sports…TALK about those things!
- Make her LAUGH! I can guarantee that between late night feedings, postpartum recovery, and sleep deprivation…. GIRLFRIEND COULD USE A GOOD LAUGH!
- Make her a CARE PACKAGE that has some fun, cute items and yummy snacks! If she’s breastfeeding she needs an extra 300-500 calories anyway!
- HANG OUT with her and the baby! That way she doesn’t have to choose between bonding with her new baby and catching up with you! This could mean going on a walk or meeting up for lunch.
- Offer to WATCH THE BABY while she showers, shaves, shampoos her hair etc,. This one is a WIN-WIN because you get in awesome baby snuggles and she gets to feel like a person again!
Like anything in life, it’s all about having the right BALANCE. Take time to spend with those most important in your life along with the baby! It’ll do wonders for you spiritually, personally, emotionally, and physically!
Well mama’s I hope this post offered a little bit of encouragement. Leave a comment below to let me know what ya thought! As always we hope that you will Like, Share, & Comment! How do you and your friends stay connected?